The lost land

Have you ever felt lost and no one would try to find you? I was sitting on the bus praying for us to win. When we got there we got of the bus and ran to the court ready for a exciting game. We made a game plan to play strong and to WIN . We stuck to it and got the first goal at this point I was feeling abit dizzy then something happened.

I fell styraight to the ground but only a referee and some girl came to help me. I was unsure what the girls name was but she asked if I was ok. As the referee took me to the chair i didn’t respond because I was in pain. They continued playing the game as I sat on the chair, I looked over at the floor and something was wrong. I limped over with my ankle hurting and I fell right next to the hole, I tried to get a look but I fell right through. I felt like Alice In Wonderland.

I fell on a rose petal and noticed that either things had grown really big or I had shrunk. I walked over to a small house in the middle of nowhere. I knocked on the door but no-one responded so I creeped through the gap.”Hello, hello” I said. I heard someone talking so i tried to follow their voice. Then  an old rabbet come out of the blue.”Do you know I might be”I said. He looked at me weirdly and pushed me out saying “Go, go, go, straight out” I walked over to a tree and then glanced at the ground, I saw a path going to a deep forest. I walked very slowly down the path, because I saw some smoke , I wafted it away from my face and saw a very little caterpillar with some burnt toast. I said politely ” Do you know where I am?” He looked at me weirdly and said “Beg my pardon, I thought you were the garden” I then replied “Sorry, am I disturbing you?” he pointed to a sign and said “You are in the Lost Land of Dreams” I read the sign and it said ‘Exit from Lost Land of Dreams’.

I walked through the dark tunnel and saw the girl who was helping me before. She  asked me again “How are you?” and I said “I’ve never been better” Has this ever happened to you?

3 thoughts on “The lost land

  1. Dear Lydia,
    I think that your story is very descriptive and very interesting. The moment I started reading it I wasn’t into it but when it came into the action bit my ears where ready to listen on what happens next to your character. The things I picked up on where: You didn’t explain your character that much and that there were a few spelling mistakes like rabbet it is rabbit and other than that well done I would like to know what happens next. Great Story!
    From Ruby.

  2. Hi Lydia,
    That story was great! The punctuation was very fluency and you described the characters. Keep up the good work! 🙂 <3

  3. I think your piece of writing was really good but at the start of the second paragraph you said styraight instead of straight. And you spelt rabbit wrong, you spelt it like this rabbet apart from that it was really good. My favourite part was when you felt like you were Alice in Wonderland falling down the hole. I also really liked how you said has the rose peddele grown or have I shrunk.

    Juz 🙂

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